call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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