he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
