we're blogging at a bar
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
