fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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