Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
So much rum. So many feels.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
