So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
