I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Ambien. No doubt about it.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
