Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
