you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You were trust falling into bushes
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
