He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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