just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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