I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
