I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
