She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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