did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
