Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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