Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
