If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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