what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
dude. I can hear the air.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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