It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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