so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
