cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize