I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I cut my penus on the lid.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
