I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
