What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
