that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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