By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize