i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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