genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
