she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We left an ass print on the piano.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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