Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize