worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
