Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
