dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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