Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Randomize