I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
