you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
