I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
