once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
