This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
