bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
