i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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