u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
