You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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