wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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