hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
