I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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