Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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