I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
The cops high fived after they tackled you
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
