i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I wish there were birth control emojis
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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