ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The best revenge is premature balding
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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