He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
