i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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