I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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