my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
