Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
