We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
