If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I love you. Go after that dick
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