meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
