she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize