Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
