can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
