I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
